The Journey of Trust is never-ending

How does growth in faith happen? Or better yet, how do we know that our level of faith has increased?

When I was in junior high, I was on the cross country team. Not sure why because I really don’t like running just for running sake. If you put me on a soccer field, I will run till my legs fall off (and I’ll enjoy every bit of it), but put me on a cross country course and I am miserable.

I distinctly remember the constant running and thinking that the pain is never going to go away. If I achieve a specific time, I won’t be content to just stay there. I would want to get faster, and the only way to get faster is to push yourself more, which means more pain. Only when we become complacent do we coast….

What a perfect way to describe the journey of faith and trust in God. I remember one specific moment in time when I was struggling with things that I thought I had “mastered”. As a family, we left everything behind to pursue God. We trusted God for all provision, from a place to live to eventually, money for food. Needless to say, it built in me a level of trust in God I had never experienced before. But just as I was settling into this trust, things began to crop up again. I found myself worried or wondering. I felt like I had regressed and lost all of the level of faith I had grown into.

I sought help… and in that moment I saw that I hadn’t regressed, but I had pushed to a new level of “pain”. One of my constant prayers is always “Make me more like Jesus”. Well, that requires a constant growing and pruning, and refining and transforming.

While the issues remained, God was taking me higher and deeper. It’s like walking up a spiral staircase. The view might be the same, but it is always slightly different as you get higher. You’re able to see more, perceive more. It’s like going deeper… getting to a new level of depth in dealing with the issues that I previously didn’t have the grace or faith for.

For those of us committed to become more like Jesus, this is the journey. It is an opportunity to deepen our faith and deepen our trust. We will never “arrive” until we see Him face to face.

Take heart, because when trials come, He trusts us to navigate it and grow in it.

LeadershipLives: The topic of Culture

I am 45 years old. A baby to some and a ancient celestial to others. I’ve lived on the East Coast and the West Coast, worked in government, private sector and the church. I’ve had kids in private, public and homeschool programs. I’ve started my own businesses, partnered with others and consulted a whole slew of entrepreneurs in starting and growing their own businesses. I’ve led homegroups, leadership groups, large teams, small teams… within fortune 100 and garage started organizations.

And yet, despite all that exposure and experience. Despite all my studies and work. Despite all my perceived growth and knowledge, this I can say confidently:

Culture is undefinable.

I know many of you are yelling at me through the screen or have completely left the blog… hello? Anybody still here?

Culture is such a hot topic and has been such a hot topic for all organizations. You’ll hear it a lot as people describe their work environment.

“The world culture is toxic”

“I love the culture there….”

“We want to create a culture of tolerance…”

“We have a winning culture…”

Yet despite the words, despite the propaganda, despite the marketing, the words are just that… words. Even more distressing are when the experience people have within the walls of that organization are everything BUT what the culture is defined as.

And that’s because culture isn’t defined, it’s experienced. It can be described as it is experienced, but it can not be perscribed.

The most common question I get from CEOs is, “How do I change the culture?” Usually they see something they don’t like in how their employees are behaving, and unfortunately, no amount of telling employees how to behave and how to act is going to change the culture. No amount of internal branding is going to change the culture. It might resonate with employees that already are that way, or it might help put language to what employees felt but couldn’t describe, but it’s not going to make a lazy employee suddenly want to work hard.

Many organizations try to put in a reward structure to create a culture of hard work. Reward those that perform, punish those that don’t. And while the sales numbers might make you think it’s a culture of hard work, it really is just a culture of performance and fear.

That’s because culture is not what is happening on the outside of a person, it is what is going on within. It is the heart of an organization, which really means, it is the heart of every person in that organization. Every single time you bring somebody into your organization, be it a company, a sports team, a booster club, a family, you are instantly changing the culture because that somebody carries within them a perspective, attitude, motivation and behavior (and so much more).

What’s even more amazing is that we actually conform to our environment. We become what we see. A person that can not conform does one of two things: They get cast out or they end up changing the environment around them.

There is hope! There is so much hope, because while we can not tell people the culture they need to have, and we can’t define what we want the culture to be, we can both behave in a manner and enforce a structure that creates the environment where the culture we want is more likely to grow. Then you observe, experience, and continue to make adjustments.

I LOVE this topic and there are a million other posts related to this that I will continue to explore and post about over the next month.

Culture is so important. Culture isn’t easy. Culture kinda happens on its own. Culture can make or break a group.

We need to paying attention to culture!

What happened to hard work?

This is going to be a potentially political post so… enter at your own risk!

I feel like the world has lost sight of what the word “generations” means. And by “world” I don’t mean you, I don’t mean a country or a ethnicity. I mean generally what I observe that is happening through my lens of life. I try to stay pretty plugged into current events, and I try to listen to all sides of stories (which is getting harder and harder to do with the current state of our media).

I would describe our planet as short sighted. This has resulted in a generation of people wanting instant gratification (which has been true for quite a bit), but extremely evident now. In the age of Tik Tok viral videos and overnight sensations, everybody is looking for the quickest way to make it in life. Everything is about the now and not much thought is going into the future.

Case in point: our countries infatuation with Unemployment and Stimulus checks. Don’t get me wrong, I completely get the need for some families to make ends meet coming out of the pandemic. Businesses were closed and jobs were lost. Families needed help. But what has now occurred is a massive shortage of labor force. At least in CA, people are not returning back to work. Why would they when the gov’t keeps giving them hand outs. I am connected to people in various industries in my local city and the pain point is all the same: It’s impossible to find people to fill jobs. Hiring bonuses, referral bonuses, longevity bonuses… they’re not working.

Now personally, I feel like our government is creating a welfare mindset that will become systemic and will have a huge impact. Our government is intent on continuing to grow in size and in power. Keeping families dependent on a hand out will ensure that end. I’m not bashing government. I’m not against government. But I am quite certain that our government in the US has gotten too big and too powerful. Our constitution was written so that the government would be FOR the people. It seems like it is intent on just being for itself and those in power.

A shortsighted check is an easy to way to live instead of having to work 9-5 for 40+ hours a week. But in the end, what are we sacrificing? The more we need the government, the more they will be able to do what they want. Mandates, rules, all become powerful means of control if they also are the lifeline to survival.

But I digress… The best thing we can do is to get back on our horse and get back to work. There is a beauty in nature that consistently shows us that growth happens through work (and sometimes pain). I think it’s pretty evident that we were made to work. Look at our physical bodies… muscle growth only happens through work and pain. Look at our minds, growth only happens by pushing beyond what is in our understanding.

I don’t mean to be dramatic, but I believe the survival of our race depends on our ability to get back to work. Unless you are ok living in a Wall-E type life where we just become blobs of people dependent on machines to do everything for us. That’s not how I want to live and that’s not how I want my kids to live either.

If you look in the Bible, God wants us to be good stewards of what He’s given us. That is up to each person’s interpretation, but the Parable of the Minas makes it clear that Godly stewardship isn’t about maintaining, it’s about growing. We have to work for it. And the blessing of it far outweighs the work. A man was faithful with 5, growing it into 10 and God gave him charge over 10 cities.

That might not be an overnight TikTok sensation, but that’s a pretty amazing promotion if I say so myself.

They will know you by your love…

Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything … I am alive, I am thriving, and I am getting back to writing.  Let see…since I last wrote a blog post in 2019 I…

• Started a film company
• Restarted doing independent business consulting
• Started advising with the Small Business Development Center
• Started a full time job
• Restarted firearms instruction
• oh… and we got a puppy…

All during COVID-19.   While many things screeched to a halt for the past couple of years, I saw it as a great opportunity to leap forward.

Another thing COVID seems to have accomplished is to really allow our perspectives to percolate to the surface, especially through our social media posts.  While I enjoy our ability to freely share how we feel (well, what the platforms don’t censor), it seems we’ve developed a desire to divide and shame, all in the name of spreading truth.

By no means am I suggesting that we cease to fight for what we believe, but when we vilify people who don’t believe the same way, we not only loose our influence, we loose our testimony.  TRUST ME: I am guilty of this and have to eat humble pie when others keep me accountable.

I know the truth sets people free, but if delivered with shame and division, the message falls on deaf ears.  I’m sure that’s why Jesus said that the best witness for his disciples is to demonstrate love.  Love is what softens the heart and opens the mind to what the truth is.  If truth is covered in gross blame, shame and daggers of accusation, who wants to hear that?

If we share the truth in the love and people choose to disregard, then that is their choice.

Heart of a Father : Friend or Father?

As two of my children are now fully into teenage years, one of the challenges… err.. I should say one of the joys… ok, how about:   One of the wonderful, blessed, painful, and challenging things I get to navigate as a father is my ever evolving relationship with my teens.

The best way to explain is to first examine my relationship with my daughter who is 7.  When she is sad or hurting, she typically doesn’t want to reason with me, she simply wants to climb into my lap and be held.  When she is happy, she wants to run around, have tickle fights and play silly games.   Even though she struggles with the greater freedom her older siblings have, she knows that we have more “rules” for her.  We are much more involved in helping her make good choices in how she spends her time, what she eats, and the things she watches.

As you can obviously see, the above formula for our 7 year old is not going to work for our teens.  Especially my oldest who is almost an adult and we WANT to make independent choices.  We want our teens to respect their freedom and live with their consequences.  And while my wife and I have learned the hard way that no child is EVER, EVER the same, I do believe that our parenting principles should be consistent, clearly communicated, and demonstrated.  I’ve shared in a previous post that our family developed family core values , and likewise, I know that it is important for parents to have parenting core values.

For me personally, I’m learning more and more that I can sometimes be a friend, but never to the point where I compromise my role as a father.  My goal with all my children is not that they would reflect back and just see me as a good friend, but rather as a loving father that “trained them up in the way they should go” (Proverbs 22:6).   My job is not to be always likable, it is to do whatever I can to prepare them to succeed in their destiny and calling.

I think there was a time when I was catering to my kids.  Trying to make things easy, or do things that would make me loved.  But I read Proverbs 22:6 and know that to be a good father is to not just unconditionally love and accept my children, but to train them to succeed in all areas of life.  Not just to love God, but to love those around them.  To serve and to understand the value of hard work, patience and perseverance.

Not sure if you have teenagers, but this is not the easiest thing to do right now, especially in our age of instant internet gratification.

Many times, it is being the “bad guy’, making a tough decision to disciple kids, remove privileges that are abused, and even force them to go to church.  My oldest is a senior in high school and ready to spread her wings and fly after she graduates.  I want her senior memories to be amazing, filled with fun, laughter, and joy.  But I would be negligent to remove my obligation as a father to best prepare her for living out in the world.

Some times it means I have to do things that make my kids not like me… and that’s ok.  Because I’m a father, not just a friend.

 

Heart of a Father: Train your child in the way they should go…

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.”  Even if you don’t read or believe the Bible, this verse is packed with absolute TRUTH!

As I continue to stumble my way through parenting teenagers (and become increasingly aware of how quickly they will be leaving the protection of my household), I am reminded of Proverbs 22:6.  In fact, it has become an important reminder to keep me focused on how I want to raise my children into adults.

In our politically correct, everybody gets a trophy, you can do whatever you like society (ok, yes I am slightly exaggerating), it is quite common to see children ruling the household.  Even I have to admit that many times I am tempted to just give in to the incessant whining of a child thinking that the path of least resistance to peace is to just do what the child wants.

And while this may temporarily ease the sonic pain of constant temper tantrums, how is it helping our children in the way they should go?

When I think of the way I want my children to go, it is a way of maturity, character, honor, integrity, righteousness and justice.  It is caring for others, serving the community, taking care of windows and orphans, feeding the homeless and less fortunate and standing up for those who can’t defend themselves.  It is loving well, loving to learn, being a contributor to society, and stepping into their destiny.  It is loving God with all their heart, soul, mind and strength and loving their neighbor as themselves.

If you look at that as I have thought of it, you quickly realize that this is NOT going to happen by chance.  I noticed this one day when I was frustrated with the fact the my children (teenage and younger) were not “behaving” how I thought they should be.  Immediately I realized that a lot of that ownership fell to me as the Bible clearly states that children need to be trained in how they should go so that they will not depart from it.

I’ve played varsity sports and to get to where you want to be, you have to train.  No way around it.  You don’t just do nothing and then show up expecting to be a champion.  Training is hard and training is intentional.  Training has nothing to do with how you feel and everything to do with what you “WILL”.

I have to constantly remind myself that a great responsibility of mine is to train my children up so that they can be successful in life.  Yes I love them unconditionally and Yes I discipline them with love, but I need to spend time training them as well.   Trust me, they are worth it!

I’m 43 years old – And I’m THANKFUL!

I’ve always wondered how people who have birthdays near holidays feel.   Do you feel your birthday is overshadowed by the holiday?  I mean, being born on December 25th…. how can you compete with JC?

Personally, my birthday is always around Thanksgiving, but I’ve never felt that it was an issue.  This year (2018), my birthday fell on the day right before Thanksgiving.  But the fact is, I actually love that it is so close to Thanksgiving because it keeps my year in perfect perspective.   Yes, I spent some of my birthday going around getting things for our Thanksgiving feast, but I still am thankful that my birthday is right by Thanksgiving Day.

I turned 43 and there are so many things racing through my heart as I think about my coming year.  What are my plans?  What are my dreams?  What are my goals?  What am I going to do with my life?

And yet, I am grateful that the theme surrounding my birthday has been the same one since, well… since I was born:  THANKSGIVING.  Even though it seems we’ve extended Christmas to begin even before the end of October, our family still goes all out for Thanksgiving.  And that is the main thing for me going into my 43rd year of life.  I want to be thankful in all things, through all circumstances, in every situation.

It is amazing how powerful the attitude of thanksgiving can radically shift my perspective.  All the things I’m praying and believing for this 43rd year need to be rooted and grounded in a heart of thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving keeps the successful humble.
Thanksgiving keeps the wealthy generous.
Thanksgiving keeps the favored grounded.
And when things aren’t going my way, a heart of thanksgiving keeps the testimonies of my past front and centered, giving my faith a boost to allow God to come through again.

I have some big dreams for this year, but the biggest goal I have this year is to launch and land everything from the runway of thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

The Heart of a Father : Walking the Talk

“Actions speak louder than words” – Many would say this is cliche, but I would simply say that this is the simple truth!

Like most if not all parents, I live to see my children succeed at life.  This is not just in the tangible things like money, or the temporal things like earthly fame, but in eternal things like character and love.  The un-measurable areas like relationships, and wisdom, learning and service.   I want my kids to be happy, but to understand just where that happiness comes from, and most of all, to walk in faith, hope and love.

It would be easy to say that all these things come from a genuine relationship with God, but that would be omitting a huge part of the plan that God actually put into motion when He created something called FAMILY.  I can pray all I can for my children to encounter the Almighty, All-Loving, All-Gracious, All-Knowing, All-EVERYTHING God who loves unconditionally, eternally, and amazingly… but if I recluse myself from any involvement … any ownership and responsibility, I am not in step with the original plan for Fathers to raise sons and daughters.

This is not about the difference between moms and dads, nor focusing on the lack of fathers in this generation (I was raise by a single mom).  This is about how I see the importance of my presence for my own kids.  I firmly believe that it IS my responsibility to demonstrate the heart of God the Father through my own life.  It is what keeps me accountable : Is my behavior showing my kids and accurate picture of God?

It would be easy to just talk to my kids.  For me, I love to hear myself.  I could preach it up to my kids.  Illustrations, analogies, metaphors, bullet points, action items… you name it, I can do it.  I can make a pretty solid argument about anything, and even if I don’t know, I can fake it till I make it.

But I see the plain truth that this plan has no power of change behind it.  What has power behind it is my action behind my words.  Do I walk the talk?  Do I ask for forgiveness?  Do I say I’m sorry?  Do I share my feelings?  Do I stay present?  Do I have a good attitude?  Do I honor all people?  Do I serve with joy?  Do I say ‘I Love You’ often?   It is easy to tell my kids what they need to do, but do I myself do it… specifically in front of them… do they experience this from me?

I would lie if I said it was easy.  Asking my kids for forgiveness is HARD!  Serving them is humbling.  Being vulnerable and transparent with them takes trust.   But it is in their experience of me that impacts them the most.  I can not expect them to become something I don’t myself display.

But it is all worth it.  Yes, they can learn how to be successful from how hard I work.  They can learn how to do relationships from how I interact with friends.  They can learn to serve by watching me do little things like re-stacking the grocery cart.  But I most interested in the things that last: Faith, Hope, Love.   It is said that a lot of those things are not just taught but caught.

Caught from the action of living life together.  Caught from me, doing the walking.

When FEAR masquerades as HONOR

Several months ago, I had the unpleasant realization that what I thought was honor was actually fear… I know this post might not apply to everyone, but it is my own journey of seeing how fear was lying to me and calling itself honor.

I’m a really good follower and I serve really well.  I feel like it’s an actual gift I have to serve others and help make other people “happen”.  It’s a role I enjoy because I actually thrive in helping others come alive and walk out their dreams.

Yet, at the same time, I love to lead.  I also feel like I have a gift in leadership and I also VERY much enjoy taking charge, leading others, and gathering a group of people together to accomplish goals.

The biggest challenge is knowing when I should be a servant and when I should be a leader, and sometimes, it’s being flexible to switch quickly between the two.  I’m learning how to be comfortable, content, and fully present in either role as a servant or a leader, but it’s not easy, and it definitely has come with some growing pains!

I’ve found that it’s easier to ‘hide’ behind my servant role when the situation really needs me to step in as a leader.  There have been instances when my leadership skills were needed (hindsight is 20/20), but I simply didn’t step out.  Why?  Why would I do that when I love to lead?  Because fear was lying to me!!

Fear was telling me that I would be stepping on toes.  Fear was telling me that my opinion wasn’t needed or wasn’t going to be valued.  Fear was telling me that if I took charge, I would be making others feel small and dis-empowered.  Fear was telling me that it was honor.  That if I stayed small, kept to myself, kept my mouth shut and only did what other people told me to do without question, then I was honoring them.  Only, it wasn’t real honor, it was only my fear.

Listen, I don’t have a problem keeping my mouth shut and doing what I need to do when I’m told to do it… but it has to be because that is what is truly appropriate for that situation, and not because I’m responding out of fear.  I actually dis-honor others when I’m not fully present, bringing my full gifts and capabilities.

Well, fear has been found out!

 

Glorious Unknown (8/6/18)

Smoke, haze, fog, ash

These are what blanket the city, pushing
out the gentle dew that should comfort
land in the morning dawn.

What will become of us?

The clear blue of sky of certainty
That lent itself to far visibility
Is now a murky uncertainty
That robs a city of clarity…

What will become of us?

What we thought we knew is now
unknown in charred landscape, lost
homes and displaced families…

The dreams of a city gone up in smoke…

but wait…
My eyes see one thing but my heart feels another…
but wait…
My eyes see one thing but my ears hear another…

Yes, it is a city responding with hope, love, sacrifice and generosity
Not spewing blame or animosity
But a resilience and determination forged in unity

The haze is not a dreaded uncertainty…
No,
It is a glorious opportunity
The opportunity of the glorious unknown

We will rebuild in sacrifice and generosity
We will rebuild in hope, love, and unity
We will rebuild to cultivate and birth the wildest dreams of our city

Behold, in the midst of calamity a new thing is birthing,
Can we perceive it?

What will become of us?
We will seize this glorious opportunity to see
Our city thrive in excellence, beauty, and prosperity

That is what will become of us!