I believe the desire of Christian believers to experience the impossible comes from the reality of being made in the image of a God of the impossible. It is merely our fears that replace the drive to live in a place of trusting God to actual catch us when we take a leap of faith.
If I could sum up the level of my faith the past years of my Christian life, it would be in this picture:
Me in the driver’s seat, in full control, with Jesus in the back, maybe sometimes in the front. He’s not pushy, trying to take over, but He has asked multiple times if He can drive so I can relax. So I can relax??? Probably because I’m white knuckled, lost, stressed and trying to do everything at once. You know, drive, manage the car, look up directions, figure out where to go, what are the speed limits… I’ve missed exits, gone in circles…
‘Sure Jesus, I’ll let you drive, let me just get us past this obstacle… I’m a pretty good driver you know…’ Which really equates to 2 things:
1) I like being in control of my life
2) I don’t want to be taken on a path that I’m not familiar with
There have been many recent events where I was at the cross-road of this decision. Kind of like me and Jesus are about to go on a trip and we’re walking out to the car. I have the keys in my hand and Jesus asks, ‘Can I drive?’ You know… one of those awkward moments where a second feels like an eternity and your body language betrays you. Your hands unknowingly clench the keys and you frantically try to come up with some excuse as to why you should drive instead of Jesus…
‘Jesus, do you know the way?’ Okay, really dumb question… I mean, He is God!
‘Jesus, I LIKE driving’ Somewhat true, but saying a truth to derail a conflict is manipulation… and Jesus can see through it anyway. Okay, 0 for 2, not looking good.
‘Jesus, I WANT to serve YOU’ Again, using a noble statement to cover up a fear is just sad! (even though I probably do this a lot!)
I might as well just say it, ‘JESUS, I DON’T TRUST YOU’.
But wait, is it really that extreme? I mean, I trust God.. I believe in Him. After all, I’ve called Him my Lord and Savior. I believe the Bible is true. I have faith… or do I?
Here is the rub: In James 2, it says that faith without works is DEAD. I have been confessing with my mouth something that my actions do not back up. I’m a hypocrite.
I was struggling with this and I heard God ask me, ‘Do you believe I AM who I say I AM?’
I remember just sitting there, dumb founded. No words. Just the real moment of looking in a mirror and realizing that what I was really seeing was not what I thought would be there. I was living a life where my faith was in myself and not God. I had manipulated my circumstances, and shrunk my world to be filled with decisions that I could control and manage.
For the longest time, I would hear of other testimonies and wonder where were my own? Why didn’t I see miracles of faith in my own life? As I was pondering this with the Lord, He simply said, you don’t have testimonies because you don’t give Me the opportunity. I was facing unknown impossibilities with fearful dread, instead of joyful anticipation. It was a true reflection of how I viewed God.
Talk about a wake up call…
In the book When Heaven Invades Earth, Bill Johnson says, ‘It is abnormal for a Christian not to have an appetite for the impossible. It has been written into our spiritual DNA to hunger for the impossibilities around us to bow at the name of Jesus’.
So I have to repent, ask God to renew and transform my mind, and to take actions based not on what I see, but on who God is.
I recently had an encounter where Jesus as asking me to step out in faith, and travel to a destination that I didn’t know anything about, along a road I couldn’t see. We were both standing on top of a mountain and Jesus was pointing to the destination beyond the horizon. I knew that it was an all or nothing kind of deal where after stepping out, there was no turning back. I began to talk with Jesus and share that I was scared to go because I couldn’t see the path and I could see the destination. Jesus turned to me, and with joy and excitement simply said, ‘I can see the journey and destination, and it is GOOD!’
I am reminded daily to examine the posture of my heart, the motives of my actions and the driver of my car. Am I living in joyful anticipation, even in the midst of uncertainty, needs, and unknowns? Can I firmly root myself in the truth that God is a GOOD FATHER who loves to draw near?
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.